money money money

Ah how I wish the time would travel a lot faster supaya I cepat dapat duit scholarship IJM RM 5000!! 5 more days and I'm RM 5000 richer woohoooo!!!!! lalala.. Ever since the new semester started like 3 weeks ago I dah mula berangan nak buat apa dengan duit sebanyak itu, eh minus the tution fees, all i'm getting is RM 2400. sekarang baru sedar. hampeh. :(


Ok well, money is still money and it's better than having none at all, RIGHT?? Whoever said money can't buy you happiness doesn't know where to shop! haha. ok dah mula bunyi mcm materialistik gila, walhal, i lah orang paling suka berjimat di atas muka bumi ini. wait, that's awfully wrong. I'm the MOST KEDEKUT person living on this planet. ahahahaha. ;D (evil grin)


Truth be told, I'm a shopaholic and there's nothing wrong with being one. kan kan? :P


Hihi. A few days ago i was scouting around in Pavillion for items I wanna get lepas duit dah masuk and right now mood shopping dah membuak buak. haishh.


Fujifilm Instax mini 7s I'm definitely gonna be your new owner soon! That's a promise. Okay I may as well get a Converse and a few pair of jeans to look the part ehehehe.


Diana F+, you'll just have to wait until my next cheque masuk ok sebab you terlampau lah expensive.

of new bed and boredom.

Today is Friday. And today I'm alone in my room lying on the bed with eyes still half opened yet still able to go online to reach out to you ehehe. Last week I brought back a can of white paint from home and it's been under my study desk for a week so I think today would be nice to finally get rid of the ugly smudges and cover it nicely with a fresh coat of pure white paint on the walls in my room while enjoying a sweaty afternoon of work out session. Mind you, the walls here are tainted with sticky stuffs stuck on it and what appears to be mud found at the back of a shoe, particularly on my side of the study table. The shape is quiet obvious to everyone who comes in. Such a hideous sight.  :[


Here's a look into my new room. It's at the highest floor where a lack of water supply is a daily nuisance to everyone who lives up here.

Moi beautiful bed, where moi baby is sleeping( near d pillows). ;)

Moi study desk wall art. 

Moi storage space, where i keep my books and other craps. The bag speaks for itself. :D

I enlarged this one to make the scribbles more readable. The clock is so cute, it goes well with the theme that I'm going for, which is Pink, White and contemporary vintage. 

Similar to what I have at home.

Alright, what else? Ahh, my closet area.

Imagine stuffing 50 pair of hangers in a closet this size.

At the moment my study desk looks like this. 

Not big enough to cram an A2 sized drawing to take off.

So far I'm loving this confined space where I do most of my homework and surfing the internet. 

I'm bored out of my mind, haven't gone out in a week and I think if I have to stay here one day longer I'm gonna run away and go shopping. That never failed to cheer me up. Waiting for someone else to ask me out seems a little redundant now.

I wonder if the statement above is true. Lately I've been wondering if it's possible for me to be a fool in love when  in fact I'm too proud for love.

Empty.

I hate feeling so vulnerable. When you're at your weakest point and everything seems to be going down, a feeling of complete emptiness and utter crazy all at once. haih. 

It's a vague feeling of sadness seemingly without cause.

"Have you ever felt that way at one point of your time? I'm sure most of you have. It came, and it left, then it came again, messing up with my mind. Which sucks to the core, if I would say so. I've been feeling neglected and alone for awhile now but weird thing is, I'm surrounded by people whom I hold dear to me & vice versa. It's like when I'm with them I'm watching a whole 2-hour movie and felt everything for a moment, and the next, all I feel is... blah.

--

I'm not being ungrateful or anything near to that, god forbid, but back when my life was a big mess I could sense and feel every single thing, every pain there is and I almost could correctly pinpoint on whatthefuck had gone wrong and I feel alive just knowing that I've gotten out of everything, well, alive and kickin'. All I'm saying is that, when you hit rock bottom you're reminded to move forward so life could feel better for you and you appreciate everyone around but when things get okay, everything just stopped moving. Idle. Stagnant. And then they became mundane, and I wanted something else, but I don't know what.

I wanted to be more, I wanted more. I keep wanting more, which I know if I ever gotten what I wanted, it would never satisfy me one bit. I keep comparing myself/my life to others and then sulk about it which is not healthy (note to self). Not healthy at all. I feel like life has taken me for granted, and there you go I blame life for this, and not vice versa. See? Not making any sense whatsoever.

I don't like what I've become. I push people away. Pushed/am pushing, whichever relevant now. Deep inside, I'm hating everything and this shouldn't be normal right? It's a crime to be normal if I kept feeling this way.

I just. I don't know how to describe my outlook on everything now."

Maybe all I need is a motivation, some sort of positive push or support or even a hug to keep me going through the rough patch whenever this emotional instability hits me and drag me with it to hell. 

I need to find a strong reason to let my ego aside and let the better half of me take over.

Je suis desolee. For making those around me feel like hell acting all cuckoo. I'm not desperately seeking for attention, neither am I being too needy or whiny, but sometimes when I'm cranky/a pain in the ass for no obvious reason, it's my way of telling you that I'm sad. I feel all alone. And I need help. 


I hate fighting this fight.

The 5 Levels of Inception

Here’s an explanation of the movie, Inception. For those who don’t understand, you should read this.

That thing.

That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you’re supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time.

of the perfect week

The first week of college has been pleasant. For now I guess. Things are definitely gonna change once we're bombarded with assignments and tests in the coming week. haihh. But so far, everything has been going my way, the way I want it to be and I'm blessed living this life, where good things happen. :)

I have finally secured the scholarship with IJM and that's practically the BEST NEWS EVER!! Knowing the fact that they're paying for my tuition fees + half of my living expenses for 2 years, that is until I graduate, hopefully with First Class Honours. Atleast one item on my worry list is checked. ;D 

I practically jumped off my bed and grin the whole day in happiness when they called me up informing that I got the scholarship last Tuesday. XDD 

Oh, to top that off, for an unknown reason, I was selected to present a speech at the scholarship awards ceremony at Holiday Villa, Subang on the 4th August, 2 weeks from now. Lucky for me, it's only gonna be for 3 minutes. Phew. :P

I'm forever thankful to my devoted boyfriend for helping me out for the interview and moral support yay. :D

At the end of the so-far-perfect week also there was the Dean's Award for every nerds who got 3.70 and above. And being the classic nerd that I am, I had no choice but to receive the award ehehehe. This sounds pretty vain but wth. Happy happy happyyyyyyyyyy!!!!

Poladroid is the new Polaroid.

Remember Polaroid??? Nothing beats the excitement of waiting for the picture to come out! For those like me who hates sending the film and getting it develop, which would take days and not to mention costly, there is another alternative yipee! When I was searching for Polaroid cameras on the internet, I stumbled upon this great site which lets you create a Polaroid type photo from your normal digital camera files. All you have to do is download the software and open it. The Polaroid icon's really cute I tell you. It even makes that Polaroid sound effect in the process of conversion. Once you've dragged your photo to the Polaroid icon, wait for a few seconds for the film to come out and if you're so anxious waiting for the results you can even shake the film haha. Don't worry if at first all you get is a blank chocolatey film. All you gotta do is wait in patience for it to complete its job and about 2 minutes or so voila! You have a digital Polaroid! Oh don't forget to save it tho. Just right-click on the picture. The effects are different for each picture and just you know, have fun with the whole thing. You can do absolutely anything with it. Save it on the computer and make desktop wallpapers of Polaroids or even get it develop, eh i mean print it at any camera shop. It's really a fun application eventhough 'real' Polaroid users might be against the whole idea of it.

Click here to get your hands on the Poladroid.

And here's a few pictures taken by the magical little Polaroid maker.

These are from the Flickr Poladroid pool.

Alright. Now make yourself busy experimenting the Poladroid now and be a Poladroid freak like me.

:)

CRYING

It is one of nature's most effective anti-sadness therapy. Tears help reduce stress, stabilize emotions, and remove toxins so, if you're depressed and problematic maybe all you need is a good cry.